I don’t remember the song that was playing on the radio, but I do remember how it made me feel: Sad. I had an overwhelming feeling that things in the world weren’t right. This wasn’t my anxiety. Nope, this was something else. It was at that very moment when I realize just how fucked up the world is becoming.
I live in a mid-sized town in the interior of British Columbia, Canada, and I’ve always loved it here. The summers are warm; the winters bring tons of snow, and the community is full of great people. I have noticed a lot of changes, however, over the past couple of years. The summers have been blanketed by forest fire smoke, our river floods in the spring, and this winter was unusually warm. A warmer winter may not seem like a bad thing, but it brings concerns for a lack of runoff and water in the spring. Beyond weather changes, our city has become increasingly unsettled.
2019 has brought to our city, 5 murders; a kidnapping; a couple of stabbings; and the police have raided several homes and business to find an enormous amount of weapons. The news states almost all of these incidents are related to the local drug trade. It’s fair to say, our city has had it’s share of crime, but this is ridiculous.
My feeling of unease gets worse as I browse Facebook and news sites. I can’t get away for the non-stop debates about Government. Not just ours either… I won’t talk politics here, but I can say I have no idea what has brought us to this state. It’s scary times in the world, and it all hit me as I was driving back to work after my lunch break. I’d love to blame this feeling on my anxiety, but I don’t think my thoughts are irrational.
I’m not a pessimist. If fact, I usually find the best in most situations. However, when I look around me, I’m finding it hard to see good. I feel we are living in some scary times, and I can’t help but think it’s only going to get worse.